This is a video from Apolda, Germany of a small fallen tree battling a power line. If you stare at it as long as i have you can convince yourself it’s actually a rift to another dimension beckoning you inside. Hold my mocktail. The tree appears to be losing spectacularly as it flames up in rhythm with the line’s power surges. Me? I also lose spectacularly. I…flip a lot of tables when board games don’t go my way. I’m also prone to calling everyone cheaters and demanding we play UFC instead. “Our friends don’t invite us to game night anymore.” Honey! Yeah but that’s because I got too drunk that night we played Catan and peed in Mark and Jen’s hall closet, remember? “I guess I was trying not to.” Forget I said anything.

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Because who hasn’t dreamed of reaching ludicrous speed with nothing between them and the pavement but their life flashing before their eyes, downhill skateboarding world champion Diego Ponceletrecently set a new Guinness World Record for fastest speed on a skateboard with an insane 151.83kph (94.34MPH). Diego rode the 18% grade of the Route des Éboulements in Quebec, Canada to achieve the speed, beating the previous record of 146.73kph (91.17MPH) set by Diego’s late friend Pete Connolly in 2017 (Diego said the record is a tribute to Pete, who was one of the few that believed 150kph was achievable).

In order to stop, Diego had to grab the side of the chase car (which thankfully didn’t become a run-over car) as it slowed down since he didn’t have brakes of his own. But the question remains: should we be going over 90MPH on skateboards? I suppose that depends on who you ask. If you ask me, I broke my arm trying to kickflip over a recycling bin in high school, so you won’t catch me doing even 5MPH on a skateboard. You can shoot me out of a cannon all day long though (night too if I have a fire hoop to aim for).

World record run starts at 14:30.

Cars: sometimes they wish they were boats. Especially when you accidentally drive them into a river because, “I was just following the GPS.” If I had a new car for every time my girlfriend drove the old one into a river because she was just following the GPS, I wouldn’t be taking the bus to work. I’m joking, that never happened. She thought she knew a shortcut.

This is a video of the world’s largest amphibious car meetup (there were 70 vehicles present), held in Kladow Harbor in Berlin. But did anybody sink, and, more importantly, were there any mermaid or pirate treasure sightings on their way down? So going forward are we going to call car-boats coats or bars? “Amphibious cars.” But it’s so loooong. Plus a lot of people probably don’t even know what amphibious means. I think it means you make love like a salamander. “How do salamanders make love?” Not when I’m watching, unfortunately.

Video below, all the cars cruising together starts around 6:40.

Because there comes a time in a pumpkin’s life when they’re convinced they’ve outgrown the patch and decide to move to the big city, only to return years later when a parent starts rotting in the field and re-fall in love with a Jill-O-Lantern they knew in high school and move back to take over the family corn maze and cider stand (Hallmark, hire me), this is a video of a giant inflatable pumpkin blowing down the street in North Carolina. I asked the one girl I know who lives in North Carolina and is big into Halloween if this was hers, but she said it wasn’t. I know it was, but I wouldn’t admit to it either.

Keep going for the video (the pumpkin actually escaped from Phillips Farms in Cary, NC), while I AI someone dressed up as Indiana Jones x the Headless Horseman running from it.

Thanks to JustA, the most magical witch of all time.

Is bigger always better? Depends on the situation, but for bringing a portable gaming system on a flight, generally not. But did that stop Instagram users whats_paige_making. and nickbuildstuff from constructing this 5-foot working replica of a Pokemon Special Edition Game Boy Color? Nope. A lot of things would have stopped me. Namely, motivation and building skill. The final result does look glorious though. It also looks like a lot of arm work to play. And you know how I feel about moving my arms. “The less the better.” If they aren’t wings I can use to fly I ain’t flapping them. “What’s your doctor think of that?” He just shakes his head sadly when I ask him to undress me.

Keep going for a video demo, as well as some of the construction. More details and videos on Paige’s Instagram here.

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It’s hard for people to take your outer space talk seriously unless you include some sort of math for nerd cred. In this case, percentages. This is a supercut created by Youtube channel Picard Looking over the course of 50% of a year that includes every clip from Star Trek: The Next Generation in which a character mentions a percentage, in order from smallest to largest (a thousandth of a percent to 1,500%). There’s a 98% chance you will be tired of it before you make it to the end. Not unlike– “Your lovemaking.” Okay I was going to say this article, but I really hope you know someone who needs marrow, because that cut to the bone. What did I ever do to you?